Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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