maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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