I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
