If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
