You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
