There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
