What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was born a porn star she said
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
