I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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