yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
