Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
