Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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