so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
