Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
