You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
