He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
