just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
