I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
