i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
