True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
