All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
