Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
