i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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