You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
