I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
