Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize