And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
did you just send me my own nude
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
