I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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