I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
