When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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