I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
