She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was like his penis was on wheels.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
