i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
as a side note pls kill me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
