Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
