In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's always time for handjobs
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
