How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
