Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize