we're blogging at a bar
How's work?
Spinning.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
