Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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