i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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