I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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