im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
