The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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