She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Of course I have a pirate flag
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
