Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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