how can u be prego again
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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