Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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