I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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