Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
