I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
