people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
