I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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