I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
ttyl tear gas
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
