Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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