You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
