She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
