there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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