I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
