I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sorry about my life...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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