why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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