Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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