I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
