Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
