I accidentally burped into my bong.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
